Southampton.
There aren’t many opportunities these days for me to tick off new grounds; I’m currently sat at 84 of the current 92. Obviously, it’s a moving target every season as teams get promoted and relegated, and some are selfish enough to build themselves new stadiums. Looking at you, Everton.
So sometimes, you just have to settle for grounds you seldom visit. I’ve visited St Mary’s just the once before, back in 2008, and never had the chance to visit The Dell, so Southampton away is one of the rarer fixtures for me.
It’s also a ballache of a midweek journey, so the four of us decided to treat ourselves to an overnight stay. As designated driver for the match — and after the epic journey to London and back the previous Saturday — it was probably a smart move. I usually let other people make smart decisions for me; as 90% of my life is spent acting on impulse, but let’s not get in the therapy chair right now.
“All my family are related.”
Pre-match.
Setting off from Sheffield just after midday, with my three travelling companions saddled up, there was a sense of excitement, owing to the nature of the fixture and the fact that this was a new ground for all three of them. Love that for them.
The journey down was brilliant, if you discard the traffic, the rain, and the roadworks. Topics of conversation covered everything. The topics fit for publishing? Taylor Swift’s success, failing marriages, and men. Stupid men. None of these topics were related though, I don’t think.
Arriving at our digs, we soon made off to the stadium to experience the ‘fan zone’. It wasn’t bad at all. £13 for a Greek salad might’ve been a bit steep, but the kung pao chicken was immense.
“You’ve got to question your life choices, mate, and I think we’ve made the right one.”
The match.
A much-changed United, following injuries and suspensions following the nine-men defeat at Charlton five days earlier, kicked off with plenty of spirit, but that was soon extinguished after just seven minutes. Tricky Saints winger Léo Scienza ran through a wide-open gap in the Blades midfield and struck a powerful shot inside the 18-yard box, which took a deflection on its way in. Great. 1–0 Saints.
The short trip via plane to Southampton couldn’t possibly have taken that much out of them, but we looked well off it in the opening half an hour. United looked like they were suffering from jet lag, as ridiculous as that was.
The not-so-great themselves home team should’ve made it two-nil after 30 minutes. The sub-par United midfield lost the ball again and Southampton moved it quickly into the box, but Saints midfielder Finn Azaz missed a sitter after some decent build up play. It was a big let off.
A superb double stop from Blades ‘keeper Mike Cooper again saved us from the hosts doubling their lead, after Blades debutant Ki-Jana Hoever slipped (he was having one), and at that point it would’ve been game over.
Half-time, the Blades had hardly turned up, and the pissed-off away end really let them have it.
“It’s a long way back to Sheffield when you’re shit!”
(It really is).
Now, I’m not a football manager (no shit), but let’s be honest, we all like to pretend we are one. So I was disappointed when there were no changes at the half. When the substitutions did eventually arrive, United went from a zero out of ten performance to about a two and a half out of ten. Maybe.
Look, I’ll keep this short. It’s the least you deserve.
By the time United decided there was something to play for, it was already too late. Substitute Patrick Bamford should’ve scored in the 88th minute after a gilt-edged chance was saved by the awful Southampton ‘keeper Daniel Peretz with his feet. It completely summed our evening up.
A couple of final chances were wasted by United trying to create something from nothing, but the decision-making had been awful all night, and the end couldn’t come quick enough. An easy win for the home team, and an absolutely abject night from United. Fuming.
“We should’ve stayed home and watched The Traitors.”
Post-match.
A spirited second-half performance away at the weekend had given me hope that, at the very least, with eleven men tonight we’d see something better. But football has a way of punching you in the face.
We shipped five goals away at Ipswich in September, but my God, that performance tonight was probably just as bad. Blame the injuries and suspensions all we want, but you’d expect a set of second-choice footballers to show you something to stake a claim in the first team. I could’ve played better than some of those United players tonight, and I was wearing New Balance trainers, and I’m shit.
Choices and sacrifices were made, not least the long journey to get here, but the minimum we deserve is effort and commitment from our beloved, underachieving football team. What the hell was that tonight? Maybe it was a dream — a very weird, bizarre, vivid, detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria. There’s definitely something wrong with us, and I mean the hardy souls who made that odyssey tonight. There simply aren’t enough loyalty points.
Positives? Well, we didn’t have to drive back home immediately, and a midweek kebab hits completely different. So there’s that.
Millwall away up next in my away day travels.
Big do.
Oh, and the list, in case you were wondering:
Accrington Stanley
AFC Wimbledon
Barnet
Barrow
Bromley
Everton
Newport County
Salford City
Exceedingly hardcore from you and yours, yeesh. WRT all the grounds you’ve ticked off, are they all from seeing United?